The more he tried to figure her out, the less he understood
by jr1917
Summary: A lot of friends of mine write down about strange couple Spock and Uhura. Those creative impulses are happy and romance mostly. It almost forced me to try image something the opposite. Someting more complicated. I hope you'll enjoy and recognize original characters.


The more he tried to figure her out, the less he understood.

 **Hello everyone! I hope you'll enjoy!  
Sorry in advance for mistakes, English isn't my native language.**

 **Oh, and I don't own anything about this franchise, of course)**

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Commander Spock was solving internal conflict when his cabin door opened and beautiful lieutenant appeared in front of his gaze.  
Uhura.  
Nyota.  
He addressed a questioning look to her keeping silence. 

\- Commander.  
\- Lieutenant.  
She quickly overcame the distance between them, framing his face with her palms.  
\- Why are you so stubborn? - she whispered not looking at him, - Why you always in the forefront of a danger?  
He stood motionless in hesitation to touch her or not. He really wanted to feel this warm, which he used to share with Nyota, but those scenes repeated more often with the developments of their relationships.

"USS Enterprise" was on it's research mission. Remarkable crew on board of remarkable ship. It was a honor serve with them. And rather difficult be on duty with her.  
Given vent to feelings...yielding to the human part of it's nature... he had never regretted by large. But it was a mistake to underestimate the impact of this decision.  
Any operation in outer-space or on another object, bordering the risk, always begin and end with the same: her anxiety.

She stepped aside and met his straight gaze.  
\- Nyota, it's alright. Problematic situations and their resolution is an integral part of our mission,- he started with his usual measured formal tone, except her name, - You shouldn't be so worry all the time. I'm first-officer and a head of science department. It's my duty and my responsibility...  
\- Don't even start. Please. Do not start with your beloved "proper procedures for everything"..  
\- Nyota…  
She didn't allow him to finish and squeezed his hand.  
\- I'm not talking about you being bad commander or refusing your response for everything..., - she started to rise her tone a little, - I'm talking about you so sure that all gonna be fine and you do not even try to understand my concern.

Spock can't wait the end of conversation. He has heard enough jokes about "women do not follow logic", especially in questions of love, but he usually thought about his Nyota as an exceptional one.  
\- I understand that, - he disagreed.  
\- No, you don't. You and James.. always the same. Always get into trouble. And me and McCoy..oh, whole crew! We get you out of it while you two having fun.  
He couldn't completely deny the rightness of her words. However, she exaggerates a bit in his opinion.  
\- But still. Our relationships shouldn't reflect on our professional terms. It's logical.

Huge mistake. He understood that right after those words left his lips.  
It seems that Uhura had discovered an allergy on word "logic" lately. He remembered time when she admires that definition. 

She released his hand.  
\- Damn you, logical freak!  
Uhura's frustration was obvious. Even for the Vulcan. She turned away and hold her head. Silence. Silence unexpectedly seemed extremely uncomfortable to him form this point.

Spock knew how hard it must have been for Uhura, but just couldn't find the right words to explain he can't expose his emotions as clearly as she. He couldn't explain it to her from the beginning. It was easy to accept feelings for her, it was natural. It was… It needed to be. Otherwise, the attempt to put it on display wasn't easy at all. 

Spock moved a few steps towards her and gently touched her shoulder.  
\- I do not want hurt you... 

And than suddenness comes. She shook off his hand and say aloud. 

\- Don't touch me.

The more he tried to figure he out, the less he understood.  
Her voice was surprisingly unpleasant to hear.  
And the Vulcan started to feel angry. What was that? He just can't be what she wants after all. Not "don't want", but "can't".  
It seemed everywhere Spock went, he felt as if he never fit it. Every time he tried to be more of what someone wanted, someone else wanted the opposite.  
He allowed himself an unusual thing. It never happened before. 

\- You know, miss, I'm amazed how talented you are playing the role of eccentric offended date. Maybe you need an audience? I'm ready to continue that scene on the bridge, - there was not only formal tone but hints of sarcasm and resentment at his voice.  
\- What are you... - she didn't finished looking at him like he was a stranger.  
\- Perhaps, not, - he continued his accusation, - With such self-regards which you display, what is left for the public love?  
\- What do know of love, sir? - it was more cry out than a question, - Or loyalty? Or adoration suffering in deepest silence? Your half-nature get you a great disservice. You're may look like a man, act like a human, but you can never suffer like humankind! Love like a human. You Vulcan-stubborn trapped a human and left to die inside... The only love you know is your pure logic.

The tension was so palpable. It seemed that it can be cut with a knife.  
Commander Spock did the most illogical thing at this situation without breaking a silence. He left.


End file.
